Sometimes

Sometimes late at night like this when I have nothing but time on my hands I like to pretend. I like to pretend my life is different. Not better, just different. I like to pretend I’m more daring. I love the night and I pretend that it loves me back. Sometimes I’m out with my friends, the queen of parties, going through LA like I own it. I know people and they think it’s a privilege to know me. I laugh and go to strangers houses simply because it’s the place to be. I have followers and they hang on to every word I say, laugh at every stupid joke. Guys throw themselves at me as I coolly brush them off. I lounge on the couch and watch everyone get drunk while I keep my level head and take pictures. But no one says anything because one word from me could destroy them.

Or sometimes I’m in a fantasy world much like Angel. I go out and prowl the back alleys, the empty dark streets. The cold wind doesn’t effect me and I can see in the night just as well as I can see in the dark. There’s an utter confidence about me. Nothing can hurt me and anyone who dares try is quickly defeated. I am not afraid.

But my favorite ‘sometimes’ is the simple one. A slight step from my normal life. I’m out with one or two close friends, not going to get drunk, just out. We know the places to go to meet the people we want to meet and we hang. We’re well known in the party circles but we only go occasionally, when we have time. It’s fun, but not vital. They’re usually house parties that we visit, not big clubs. I like it. I feels comfortable. It also feels attainable. I just need to keep going the way I have.